Tag: mistakes

5 rules for your self talk

healingthrugrowth

I’m laying down 5 rules, 5 rules for self talk, 5 rules for abolishes negative self talk, 5 rules for establishing a beautiful language for an inner monologue…they are going to come out like they are simple, easy to follow, but they aren’t.

These are all things that I struggle with daily but continue to actively keep in my mind because it’s an uphill battle always, whether you come from trauma, are currently going through a mess, trying to heal, or are just living life with all the surrounding influence it’s never easy to just look at yourself and be overcome with the beauty, the progress, the bad ass that you are, so let’s actively give it a shot!

So here we go….

1. Praise what your body has done!

It’s carried you through this life, maybe provided you with children, fought off infection, or disease, walked you to every place you’ve been, let you see the miracles each day brings, let you hear the beautiful sounds of every moment, the stories of your parents, the laughter of your friends, and let you live, love, and embrace all the moments. Every stretch mark, jelly roll, muscle, scar, smile line….they show an amazing story, a wonderful life, you are here because of this vessel so give it love.

2. Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to your son or daughter.

I think about this one actively….although I am not a mother, I think about my students. In my brain I think “man you look terrible, fat, ugly, you are a mess”…well I sure as hell wouldn’t let my babes talk like that to themselves so I’m not going to do it to myself or I am the largest hypocrite. Love on yourself the way you establish self love and confidence in the minds of your babes.

3. FORGIVE

You are human, live life, make mistakes, do things that you will never regret having done….and if you do end up regretting it….get rid of it. Forgive yourself and move on because all worry does is make you relive it twice, twenty times, a hundred times, and it will make you sick, you will feel like an embodiment of your mistakes and that is not fair to you, because you are so much more.

4. Be your loudest cheerleader

Believe in yourself, you were once a little girl/boy that had amazing, loud, and miraculous dreams for your future….don’t let them down, if you want to do something…there is NEVER a perfect time so take the leap, do it, you or will never regret the times that you fought for yourself, that you did something for you, that you smashed your goals, and encouraged your inner bad ass. You only get one life, so do it big.

Get that degree, take that vacation, start that new hobby, buy the motorcycle…whatever your story, pursue it!

5. Listen to yourself

If you are anxious, worried, feeling guilty, feeling insecure or unsafe. Do not disregard those feelings, listen to them, validate them and give yourself time to get through them, don’t shove it down…process it.

I learned this one first hand, I was embarrassed about how I was feeling so I’d shove it down in hopes it would go away…it doesn’t so, I got a journal, I processed, wrote it all out and then…well I burned it. I got rid of the negative self doubt, but not until I had gone through it all and respected my body enough to listen.

So there it is, give it all you have, for me. Your mental health is comparative to your physical, if you go to the gym once, you don’t walk about looking like Jlo.

Same with your mental health if you do it once you won’t be surrounded with the self love, it’s an daily active participation situation.

You are worth all the love that you are giving to others, so share some with yourself.

Make a mistake!

healingthrugrowth

I’m not sure when it happened but at some point mistakes became unacceptable.

Look at society, you drink too much, you say the wrong thing, you make the wrong move…you are done. Over, not forgiven but yet humiliated and chastised for something that you aren’t proud of either, but it isn’t looked at with love, it isn’t looked at with forgiven, or with grace, or understanding. Why?

And why do we do it to ourselves in the worst way?

And what do we do to fix it?

Life is beautiful, we are supposed to make mistakes, we are supposed to live, and love with no regrets…how can we do that with anxiety and worry?

So…I’ve figured it out, and I’m going to share the secret with you…for free, I know, you are welcome.

Life your life, stop giving a shit about opinions that don’t matter, say sorry when you need to, but LIVE with no regrets, with full focus on yourself. If you want to do something do it! If you fail…the people that truly love you will be there to catch you when you fall, they won’t chastise you, they will care for you through it all.

I’m ALWAYS worried about what others think, I mean ALL of the time. So, I’m trying to be done giving a fuck. (Excuse the language but I mean it.) I’m writing this post selfishly, I’m doing it for me, as a reminder to stop being so scared, to start standing up, living my truth, and doing it without being terrified of the opinions of others.

I obsess over what I do and say after I’ve done it, I’ve even been known to write down and entire conversation after I’ve had it with a person to read it over and see where I could have made them angry, I know, not the healthiest move, and that’s why I am being honest with you about it. IT DOESN’T MATTER.

After doing this a few times I thought, why am I so worried about people leaving me or being done loving me if I say one thing wrong, and if they do…do I need these people in my life?

Hell no. And neither do you, find the people who love you, let them help foster the confidence in you that you deserve.

You deserve to live every part of your life; without the opinion of others, with the grace of the ones that you love, and with zero regrets ALWAYS.

So join me?

Join me in the art of finding the ones who are willing to love you along the journey….also let me add, it’s me.

If you feel that you have no one that treats you that way, reach out because I’m always down to hear about the wonderful choices you are making to make your life yours.